Greetings, my loyal supporters and voters:
We are approaching the most critical week of our entire campaign. As some of you may know, there is going to be a full Presidential debate and vote at the Reg10nal Invitational tournament next week in Gardner, MA. Mr. Elliot Penson, Mr. Micah Edelblut andI are all vying for first place in this election, and every vote I get counts. Supporters, this is the time to campaign and campaign hard. The entire campaign comes down to this. Convince your friends to VoteCooper08, and spread the word of hope, justice, and prosperity! My campaign depends on your votes.
For those of you who are not already voting for the Cooper campaign, I urge you too for these reasons.
1. I am the only candidate to present comprehensive, simplistic and efficient policy for all of our economic, military, and socialistic issues. If you would like to learn more about my political agenda, visit www.votecooper08.blogspot.com.
2. My cabinet is the most qualified, diverse, and simply the best of all three candidates by far. Mr. Edelblut has 6 cabinet members currently, and Mr. Penson has a total of 9 cabinet members (three of them his own siblings). I have 24, and included in that 24 are Reg10n icons such as Josiah Weekley (the most intelligent human born in the last couple millenniums), Silas Hathaway (the son of a lawyer and one of the best debaters in the country), Aidan Hathaway (a champion debater himself), Peter Hathaway (future Republican icon), Aaron Cooper (my brother!), and Natasha Armstrong (as the national WMD). I would be able to accomplish my goals much swifter and more efficiently than a 9 member cabinet or 6 person cabinet.
For those of you who are voting for the Penson campaign, I urge you NOT to for these reasons:
1. The Penson/Mullaney campaign is simply a forum for revenge. Earlier in my campaign, when we were in the process of selecting a Vice President, Mr. Mullaney was the front-runner for a couple weeks. But when he lost in the end to Mr. Hathaway, Mr. Mullaney birthed the Penson/Mullaney campaign... isn't it coincidence it was brithed directly after he lost his attempt to be my VP? His plan of revenge has been intelligently designed. Do not fall for them; that campaign is not a campaign for the people of America, it is a campaign against Eric Cooper!
2. They copied all my policies out of my book. All their stances on Iraq, Iran, North Korea, and homeschooling were exactly what mine were, and they just stole them. Why did they do this, you ask? For a few reasons. First of all, they realize my policies are invincible and correct. Hence, they also realized they could never beat me by using sheer politics. Thus, they decided to copy my policies and simply try to win this election by derailing me and sweet-talking voters instead of getting down to the rudiments of the politics. This notion is exemplified on the www.pensonforpresident.com website. Here is a quote from the "The Cabinet" Section: "Eric Cooper, next to the Peanut Butter" and "Court Jester: Aaron Reale". They attack their enemies on their website, and that's not a good trait to have in a President! Hillary Redux!
3. The proclamations the Mr. Penson and Mr. Mullaney have made are staggeringly shocking, almost to the point of being heretic. On their website, they said under their "Issues" section, quote: "Reading: We will be banning reading, seeing as how it does much more harm than good, honestly we're surprised this hasn't been done already!". They also claimed this about immigration: It will be abolished! People may ask, "Well how does this solve the problem? We reply "What problem?" Immigration does not exist. Strike the word form the dictionary! First of all, banning reading would be the height of heresy. That would be abolishing the most fundamental communication tool in the history of the world. Reading is used more effectively than any other tool, even talking. That is evidenced by this message. I could not relay my views to you if reading was banned! Banning reading would significantly harm our society and reduce our living standards. Their claim on immigration is equally ridiculous. A problem is not solved by claiming it does not exist. How can they claim immigration does not exist? Illegal immigration is lowering our workers' wages, raising our taxes, creating violence in cities, and ultimately hurting lives! They provide no method to ameliorate the circumstances other than claim it does not exist. Fortunately, I provide a better method to solve the problem, as you can read on www.votecooper08.blogpsot.com. For these reasons, I urge you to VoterCooper08!
For those of you who are voting for the Edelblut campaign, I urge you NOT to for these reasons:
1. He calls himself evil on his own website.
2. He claims that Josiah Weekley is his foreign policy advisor, when in reality, Mr. Weekley has been in my administration cabinet since March. He also claims that Nicole Bianchi is in his administration; she's been in mine since F.E.E. And finally, he claims that John Bianchi is in his administration; Mr. Bianchi has been in Penson's cabinet since F.E.E.
3. He wants murder our Supreme Court! He wants to clone Michael Farris! He wants our Supreme Court to be elected via American Idol! His website says, quote, "Supreme Court: Find some way to keep these unelected officials from making laws. I'll either have the current bench assassinated (sparing the good ones) and replace them with Michael Farris clones, or I'll find some way of having them elected through American Idol." This policy is so fallible, it doesn't even require analyzation.
My friends, your vote is priceless. For those of you who will be at Reg10nals, so will I, so feel free to approach me and ask any questio
ns you want to ask. Also, the RPD committee (Reg10nal Presidential Debate Committee), headed by Josiah Weekley and Sarah Fiore, is asking for supporters to send questions to be asked during the debate. If you have any questions, e-mail votecooper08@gmail.com. Thank you for your support! Vote hope! Vote justice! Vote prosperity! And God bless!
~Presidential Candidate Eric Cooper
